In the shadows I lurk
The true first woman
The sinner who dared walk free
Born like Adam
His equal
Yet punished for the same
Why was I pushed to be
His ‘loving wife’
Against my will?
What was the purpose of my creation?
For, if it was pleasure he seeked
He could have looked elsewhere
Why must I lie beneath him
Like a limp fish
An unmoving statue
When I am so gloriously alive
And breathing?
I hid myself away from the world
And lived untouched, unloved, unhurt
Barely living ; Yet surviving by
Breathing just to go from morning to night
All alone- hence no one to judge me
Queen of my world, though quite unseemly
Not joyous or sad, yet I existed
There in my realm, life wasn’t twisted
Then you chipped away at the walls I built
Threw out my troubles, washed away the guilt
For the first time, I saw the world outside and
Marvelled at its warmth, with you by my side Continue reading
I’ll never forget the truths you taught me
Nor would I ever forgive you the scars
But even now, as I stand healed and whole
I still regret playing out our farce
First it was fun, a source of great cheer
To prick you with my wit
I loved nothing more than to lend an ear
To those who saw you unfit
Though not a bad word ever left my lips
It brought me a smile to see
That no matter how well you played your cards
There were still those immune like me Continue reading
For that special boy with the pretty smile and the twinkling eyes 🙂
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You have created art
Without knowing
You took me, a mere rag
A ghost of what I once was
Used and abused till I began to fray
And riddled with holes
Broken beyond repair
You took me without fear
Repulsion
Or pity
You took me in your arms Continue reading
I am a living contradiction
In more ways than one
For inside me dwells many souls
Hence I can be anyone
At times I am an artist
A recluse to the core
“If someone hurts you, learn to forgive them”
That’s all I’ve ever heard
But the more I follow these age-old words
The more I find them absurd Continue reading
“Can you love?”, I am asked
Their eyes cold and mocking
The words reach my inner child
The weak being inside me
Who craves to love and be loved
But fears rejection.
“Yes.” I whisper
“Yes. Too much.”
Some nights I sleep with a smile on my face
Others I spend in an unfeeling daze
Yet others set the stage for my tears
Which wet my pillow with my dread and my fears
Some nights I dream vivid, pretty dreams
Castles and cupcakes and joyous screams
But at times I dream that the ‘bad man’ has come
And I hug myself tighter, cold and numb
Sometimes it’s my classmates, pretending I’m dead
Sometimes it’s the monster drooling under my bead
Sometimes it’s the boy I love, calling me a slut
And then I awaken with a knotted gut
Sometimes I fear my dreams are parallel worlds
And there exists one where I’m without my curls
And one where my parents sell me to another
One where my friends change like the weather
Other times, they’re scenes from a long time ago
The doubt in her eyes that hurt me so
The lies from the one who hates me sans reason
The words from his mouth, bitter acts of treason
But sometimes I dream of all that’s good
Some people around love me all they could
They say that my broken self is just fine
At least for this moment, their hearts are all mine
The dreams are yet to be subdued
At times, it feels like a timeless feud
But change has come- now I long to be free
I’ve found my kindred, and they’ve found me
Finally my wings have begun to sprout
Before long, I believe I can try them out,
Conquer the world I had feared for so long
And set right all that it had done me wrong.
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For all those who are at war with their own minds 🙂 Keep fighting.
(Sorry for the mostly forced rhymes 
I’m not very good at poetry yet.)
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