The Inexplicable Hardships of Finding Love

“Well. Good bye then.” I tried to smile, but it turned out a grimace.
My date, whom I’d just dropped off, didn’t seem to notice. Mostly because she was looking everywhere but at my face. And no, it’s not because she was shy.

“I had a… unique time.” She said. I knew what that tone meant. I wasn’t getting a second date. I’d learnt to recognise that tone ever since I ventured into dating. Women seldom wanted to see me again.

“I’ll call you.” She said by way of custom. She didn’t even have my number.

“Sure” I muttered. Too bad. This one was actually pretty.

I was thirty one, and I was going home to nothing but an empty bachelors pad. When my fellow workers complained of marriage, I wanted nothing more than to punch them and their home-made lunches to pieces. Living by myself even after thirty was rather…. boring.

Who am I kidding. I’m utterly miserable.

Only, when I turned the door handle, I heard a decidedly masculine burp from inside.

There was someone in my house. Someone male, and rude, judging from the gastric outburst.

I held my umbrella with both hands and nudged the door open with my shoulder, preparing to strike.

Only to be greeted by a half- naked baby chugging what looked like alcohol while lying on my sofa. My once pure white sofa. 

A ‘non-cliche but still slightly cliche’ Love Story

Being short is the single most annoying thing ever. It doesn’t matter if you’re a kid, or a teacher or even a freakin’ president- you always have to deal with those ‘Oh dear lord look at that cute little thing’ eyes taller people regard you with.

And that’s exactly why I hate Dhruv. The guy is in my same class, but still has that air of superiority around him whenever he so much as looks at me.

Like, it’s not my fault I’ve done little ‘growing up’.

Unlike my few vertically challenged friends, I am not only short but I also suffer from a severe case of ‘baby face’. I hear that its chronic, unless you are filthy rich and don’t care about paying doctors to mix and match your bones.

But I’m broke, so…

Anyway. This guy. He is infuriating. Especially because I used to have a teensy weensy little crush on him when I was young and stupid.

I know, I know. It all adds up to this cliche ending of us falling in love with each other and me pumping out his babies. Not gonna happen. For one thing, I don’t like like him anymore. Also, he happens to play for the other team.