Of little girls and the masks we all wear 

Whenever my parents speak of my childhood, they start with this one particular story. I was barely three, and they’d taken me to a wedding where we scarcely knew anyone. They took their eyes off me for a few minutes, and I disappeared. After searching for me frantically and nearly giving my grandma (who was at home) a heart attack, they found me in the midst of a group of kids almost thrice my age. They’d all gathered around me, patiently listening to some grand story I was telling them in baby-talk. All of them came to wave me goodbye when it was my time to leave.

And then they turn to the present me with a sigh, and remark “Where has that little girl gone now?”

I dont know. I like to think that she’s still hiding inside me somewhere Continue reading

Advertisements

On Family and Why I don’t want Children

WARNING- highly emotional rant ahead.

So, I’m going to state a really unpopular opinion of mine, simply because I’ve held it in for so long that its threatening to devour me from the inside.

I love my family. I truly do. But I am not a fan of how they treat me at times. Actually, I absolutely despise their actions at many occasions.

There are instances where their words leave me gasping for breath in-between crying sessions all alone in my room, and then there are happy times when we sit together watching reality shows and make jokes at the expense of the participants. My mother is amazing at juggling work and house work, my dad is the softest person I know and my brother has the most amazing memory. We have so many great family moments that I feel like a little bitch for ever thinking that I want to move away from them.

But I do. Oh I do.

Recently, Continue reading

Ode to a Lesser Human

I’ll never forget the truths you taught me

Nor would I ever forgive you the scars

But even now, as I stand healed and whole

I still regret playing out our farce

First it was fun, a source of great cheer

To prick you with my wit

I loved nothing more than to lend an ear

To those who saw you unfit

Though not a bad word ever left my lips

It brought me a smile to see

That no matter how well you played your cards

There were still those immune like me Continue reading

Despise or Forgive? (A Hate Story)

Confused

She was utterly at a loss as to how to act around him.

Did she hate him? Yes. Yes, because he used her naivety, broke her heart and gave new life to her insecurities.

She was very vocal about her hatred too. She found particular joy at making smart-ass come backs to his lame one-liners and making him lose face. She also found it hilarious to make puns at his expense. The man hated a woman, especially one who had been so dependent on him, put one above him. But there was nothing much he could do. She enjoyed his powerlessness.

Others knew of her hatred as well. Though she took particular care to not speak outright of his crimes, those who hated him flocked around her. At such discussions she was always passive and mute, but she listened. Oh she listened.

But there were other times when she’d feel sorry for him.

Continue reading

Just a Joke

Daily Prompt: Joke

The timing was perfect. She had finally got some time alone with him, and that too under a rather exquisite tree. Birds were chattering excitedly over their very heads. The tiny flowers around their seated bodies blushed red with an intensity that was surpassed only by her rosy cheeks.

The whole setting reeked of romance.

He was her best friend. The one person who understood her best of all. It felt like fate was pushing her towards him.

They sat together, reveling in the shared silence. She wondered if he could hear her erratic heartbeat. To her it seemed too loud to ignore.

I love you.

They’d never once said those words to each other, but their gestures spoke volumes. She was as sure of his love as the fact that the sun was a star. Hence she did not feel any of the nervousness or tension one might entertain before confessing. Continue reading

Cut my Tongue and ask me why I’m Mute

The worst was when the words died in his mouth. No matter how recently he’d wet his lips with water, they’d go dry at the slightest hint of being made to speak out loud. He’d miss some words, make mistakes in pronunciation and easily make an utter fool of himself.

People around him were so so good. The words danced from the tips of their tongues, weaving a tapestry of sentences that draped over the entire audience, leaving them spell-bound. And he? His function was Continue reading

Chains

It’s not that she was always being physically restrained, so to say. But even so, she could always feel the chains tightening around her soul- her very being.

The rules they set for her weren’t unreasonable. She could easily follow them and keep being the wonderful girl she’d always been.

But lately, she’d wanted more.

The first time she’d dared to lie to her parents was when she experienced the bitter-sweet ache of love. Continue reading